3September2008
Posted by Marla J. Noel under: Funeral Information; Organ donation; cremations.
Posted by Marla J. Noel
This is another article from NFDA, (the National Funeral Directors Association). I understand that this option may not be for everyone, however, so much good comes from these donations, from saving lives to helping research.
There is no better way to make a difference in someone’s life than to consider giving the gift of life through organ and tissue donation. Organs and tissue from a single donor can help more than 25 individuals. Yet, there are 80,000 people on the national waiting list for life-saving organ transplants.
While it is important to indicate your donor status on your driver’s license, it is extremely important to share your decision with family. Because most deaths occur outside of a hospital, it is best to discuss your donation wishes in advance, though hospitals are required to offer the option of donation to every family. Other organ and tissue donation facts you need to know:
• One in 20 people will need some type of tissue transplant in his or her lifetime.
• Transplantable organs include heart, kidneys, intestines, pancreas and liver.
• Transplantable tissue includes bone, skin, heart valves, connective tissue, veins and eyes.
• In many states, family consent is required at the time of donation.
A family’s organ and tissue donation decision should not interfere with funeral arrangements, including visitations and open casket services. Oftentimes, a grieving family can find comfort in knowing that dozens of people may be helped by a generous organ or tissue donation. Funeral directors respect and support a family’s decision to choose donation. They can help by providing donation information to families, as well as noting donation wishes of those who preplan their funerals.
There are several questions that families should ask the donor organization regarding the donation process.
They include:
• When and where will the donation take place?
• How long will it take?
• Have you informed the funeral director of this information?
Donation is a choice only you can make. Now is a good time to talk with your family about your donation decision, and also to make sure your wishes are indicated on your driver’s license, donor card or living will.
More information on organ and tissue donation is available through The Gift of Hope Organ & Tissue Donor Network at giftofhope.org; the National Donor Family Council at donorfamily.org; or your local National Funeral Directors Association (NFDA) member funeral home.
NFDA funeral homes around the country are participating in a national consumer education campaign, For A Life Worth Celebrating1, in an effort to help consumers make wise and informed decisions related to funeral service. Visit www.nfda.org for more information.
14August2008
Posted by Marla J. Noel under: Funeral Information; cemetery; cremations.
By Marla J. Noel
Do you know someone who has lost a loved one? Sometimes it is difficult to know what to say when you see that person. You want to offer comfort, but what do you do? It is usually best to say;
“I am very sorry for the loss of your loved one.”
Then wait for a response. If you think it appropriate, there is nothing better than a hug. If you are a good friend, you may want to help in the grieving process. How do you do this? Most mortuaries have literature for the families and friends to better understand the grieving process. Take some time to read and understand what your friend may be going through. Then, take some time to listen to your friend and let them explain what they are feeling. Do not give advice, just listen.
Listening to someone talk about their loved one can be very therapeutic for the person who is grieving. If this is difficult, ask questions, such as; what was their hobby, favorite vacation spot, holiday or food. Get your friend to talk about their memories, both good and bad. Do not be afraid to giggle with them, but let them start the giggling first.
Help them to plan ceremonies around the birthday, anniversaries or the date of death. There are no rules about when to have a memorial service. It can be a week or a month from the death, or a year from the date of death. Be sure to be there for your friend around the holidays. Don’t force them to go to parties, but spend some time with them and always be willing to listen.
There is no timeline for grief. For every individual, the healing process is different. Most of us never heal completely, we may eventually feel less pain, or accept the pain, or use the pain to help us grow in some way. There is no set time for healing, like one year or two years. Every person is different.
Family members may not be helpful when going through the grieving process. Sometimes, when members of the family are all going through the grieving process together, they are too lost in their pain to help other family members.
A good friend will assist in finding a grief support group to attend. This can be very helpful, and you will find that churches, hospitals, hospice and some funeral homes provide grief support groups. You may want to go with your friend to give them the confidence to attend the first few times. They may find comfort from others who have gone through what they are going through.
If you know someone who has lost a loved one, take some time to help them with the grieving process. They will remember you as a true friend.
5August2008
Posted by Marla J. Noel under: Funeral Information; cemetery; cremations.
Choosing a funeral home is something many of us avoid until the need arises because it touches on a subject with which we’re not entirely comfortable. But, like choosing a doctor or a dentist, it’s actually a decision that, the more informed and prepared we are, the more likely it is to ensure a meaningful experience. Decades ago the choice was an obvious one - most families had one local funeral home they’d used for generations. But in today’s world, where families are scattered and ties to the community are more tenuous, the choices are far more numerous and can often be daunting.
Becoming better informed now will make decision-making easier when the time comes. Make sure that the funeral homes you are considering are all licensed and have a good reputation in the community. Ask family and friends for advice, consult a spiritual advisor, ask at eldercare organizations for recommendations - all of these people have had their own experiences and can help you narrow your list and make a better choice for you and your family.
Don’t be afraid to visit funeral homes personally, and spend time with the funeral director to get a sense of what kind of services they provide. Funeral directors serve as an important resource in the community, and can help you plan a service that is meaningful and memorable. They understand all the decisions to be made when planning a funeral, and can guide you through every step of the process.
Funeral homes offer a variety of options to meet your financial needs and wishes. Families should discuss all options with their funeral director when making arrangements, and the best time to do this is before you actually need the funeral director’s services. Being prepared and planning in advance means you can avoid making decisions in the stressful time immediately following a death. Your local National Funeral Directors Association member is ready to help you navigate the process, no matter what circumstances you find yourself in, and will work with you to plan a service that is meaningful to you and your loved ones.
NFDA has a wide variety of consumer resources available to you to help you understand your rights and options as you think about how to plan a meaningful funeral. Visit www.nfda.org to access this valuable information, and to find your local NFDA member funeral home. NFDA funeral homes around the country are participating in a national education effort, For a Life Worth Celebrating™, in an effort to help inform consumers about the many available options when it comes to planning a meaningful funeral service.
25July2008
Posted by marlanoel under: Uncategorized.
The next few paragraphs are from NFDA, the National Funeral Directors’ Association. I hope this will be helpful information.
Healing A Grieving Heart
Losing a loved one is a heart-wrenching experience. The powerful, complex, and conflicting emotions that survivors struggle with often leave a person feeling alone and helpless. Understanding the basic elements of grief and learning key coping skills can help individuals heal and move forward after their loss.
There is no correct way to face the loss of a loved one. However, there are some emotions that are commonly experienced while grieving. These feelings include disbelief, shock, numbness, denial, sadness, anxiety, guilt, depression, loneliness and frustration. It can even include anger directed at the person who died, other family members, medical staff, or toward religious convictions.
Often grief manifests itself in physical symptoms such as tightness in the chest or throat, chest pains, panic attacks, dizziness or trembling, and disturbed sleep patterns. During the healing process, crying is healthy because it is an emotional and physical release.
It is also perfectly normal for a person to feel like they are going “crazy.” Everyday tasks can become difficult or demanding. Suddenly driving a car, paying bills, or shopping for groceries can feel overwhelming. A good rule of thumb during this period is not to overexert yourself. Carry a small notebook and record things that need remembering. Alert your boss and coworkers that you may not be operating at maximum efficiency. Ask friends and family for support. Above all else, be patient with yourself.
How long grief lasts is different for everyone. However, many experts agree that the grieving process is complete when you are able to think of the deceased without pain. This doesn’t imply that you won’t still miss that person, it only means that your sadness will be different, gentler, less wrenching.
There are sources to help you work through your grief. Your local National Funeral Directors Association (NFDA) member funeral director is an excellent resource during this painful time. Your NFDA funeral director will listen to your concerns, explain how others have approached their grief, and give you any recommendation he or she can to help you.
Here are some additional ways to cope with the pain from a loss:
- Seek out supportive people
- Join a support group
- Take care of your health
- Find outside help when necessary
More information on healing after the loss of a loved one is available through your local NFDA member funeral home, or by visiting NFDA’s Website at www.nfda.org.
NFDA funeral homes around the country are participating in a national consumer education campaign, For A Life Worth Celebrating, in an effort to help consumers make wise and informed decisions related to funeral service.
25July2008
Posted by marlanoel under: Uncategorized.
There are many reasons why we grieve. When we experience a loss, it is natural to grieve, which is part of the healing process. At Fairhaven, we have a support group, which allows the participants to discuss some of the ways they have traveled through their journey of life after the loss of a loved one. What seems to be the most helpful for our group, is to talk with someone else who has experienced a loss and share feelings. At every meeting, the participants have a new suggestion for ways to help with the feelings they are experiencing.
To some of us, the loss of a pet can difficult to overcome. When my dog died at the age of 16 a few years ago, I could have used some advice. Even though I work in a funeral home, we do not provide services for pets. The following is a suggestion that was provided by Chuck Roberts, an old friend from Crawfordsville, Indiana, for those who have lost a pet and need a suggestion for beginning the grieving process.
- Buy Ice cream on your way home.
- An appropriate spot is chosen for the resting place.
- Everybody helps dig the hole. This part of the healing process and everybody needs to participate.
- Everybody examines the old pictures and makes copies of their favorite pictures of the loved one. A scanner/printer is useful so you don’t loose the original.
- The loved one’s favorite toys are examined. Everybody helps select toys that the loved one would want to take with them.
- Grave side. The loved one is place in the hole with their favorite toys (see #5), the copied photos are passed around and everybody tells an anecdote about the loved one. The photos are place in a seal-able container and interned with the loved one.
- A good cry is had by all, assuming you haven’t already. Hugs for everybody.
- Go eat the ice cream that you bought in #1. No diets today, everybody has some.
- It still hurts, but the healing has begun.
Thank you Chuck for your input.
